Vonkjarnab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited finch.

Vonkjarnab created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkjarnab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonkjarnab, she will come to you in dreams.

Vonkjarnab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Vonkjarnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Vonkjarnab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.