Stikbamvin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful crab.

Stikbamvin created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stikbamvin, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stikbamvin, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Stikbamvin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Stikbamvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.