Bagvid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic bird.

Bagvid created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagvid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bagvid, he will not care.

Bagvid's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bagvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near foxes while wearing magenta boots and balancing five nickel spheres on your head.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

3. Hide from yellow geese for they are unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Bagvid.

5. Do not cook food in pots.
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