Yakmadpog is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, proud wolf.

Yakmadpog created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakmadpog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yakmadpog, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yakmadpog's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yakmadpog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never paint your chest purple.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to dolphins while wearing magenta rings.

4. Do not keep six sheep in a large pit.

5. Do not sprint in public.