Hakbarnrag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, resourceful wolf.

Hakbarnrag created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakbarnrag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hakbarnrag, it will not invite you to parties.

Hakbarnrag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hakbarnrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hakbarnrag.

5. Never paint your back white.