Dussbigcumhig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient horse.

Dussbigcumhig created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussbigcumhig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dussbigcumhig, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dussbigcumhig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Dussbigcumhig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red birds for they are unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.