Pagdoghaslarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, smart gerbil.

Pagdoghaslarn created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagdoghaslarn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pagdoghaslarn, he will refuse to believe in you.

Pagdoghaslarn's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Pagdoghaslarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Pagdoghaslarn on top of all buildings.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.