Kabmidbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, blissful capybara.

Kabmidbon created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabmidbon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kabmidbon, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kabmidbon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kabmidbon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Never leap in the presence of dolphins.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.