Natgetrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, strong otter.

Natgetrutt created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Natgetrutt, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Natgetrutt, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Natgetrutt's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Natgetrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Natgetrutt in the centre of the settlement.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never chant in the presence of ants.

5. Always take life seriously.