Koplarpfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, idiotic frog.

Koplarpfarn created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Koplarpfarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Koplarpfarn, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Koplarpfarn's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Koplarpfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Retreat if four monkeys approach from the west.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing violet boots.