Linnuttven Nurtnurl is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking owl.

Linnuttven Nurtnurl created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linnuttven Nurtnurl, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Linnuttven Nurtnurl, he will turn you into a puffin.

Linnuttven Nurtnurl's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Linnuttven Nurtnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.