Tim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, humane mongoose.

Tim created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tim, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tim's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near birds.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. Never run in the presence of seals.

5. You must love Tim.