Voltomkar is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome badger.

Voltomkar created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Voltomkar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Voltomkar, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Voltomkar's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Voltomkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Voltomkar on top of important buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Voltomkar.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Voltomkar on top of all buildings.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.