Nurlkikven is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, prudent squirrel.

Nurlkikven created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkikven, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurlkikven, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nurlkikven's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Nurlkikven's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always take life seriously.