Jamnurgebsandfunhatpin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud faun.

Jamnurgebsandfunhatpin created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamnurgebsandfunhatpin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jamnurgebsandfunhatpin, he will have a low opinion of you.

Jamnurgebsandfunhatpin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Jamnurgebsandfunhatpin's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about dark matter near tortoises while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat oranges.