Cepbamvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, two-faced beaver.

Cepbamvon created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepbamvon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cepbamvon, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cepbamvon's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cepbamvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near dogs while wearing yellow trousers and balancing nine zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Never laugh near whales.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never feed wheat to pigs while wearing violet corsets.