Rulcapquat is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous slug.

Rulcapquat created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulcapquat, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Rulcapquat, it will turn you into a rock.

Rulcapquat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Rulcapquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Run away if five cats approach from the east.

5. Worship no other gods but Rulcapquat.