Rillmetcep is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, tranquil tortoise.

Rillmetcep created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rillmetcep, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rillmetcep, he will turn you into a rock.

Rillmetcep's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Rillmetcep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five turtles approach from the south.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.