Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, capable horse.

Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to capybaras while wearing green corsets.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Worship no other gods but Batnarkim Zoghadrenbellsakfuthiglik Hakbiglam.