Pogfobjon is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, thoughtless whale.

Pogfobjon created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogfobjon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pogfobjon, he will manifest in front of you.

Pogfobjon's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Pogfobjon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pogfobjon.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.