Gigarmkik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective snake.

Gigarmkik created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gigarmkik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gigarmkik, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gigarmkik's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gigarmkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Never skip in the presence of squirrels.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Gigarmkik in the centre of the settlement.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.