Dotfarflap Fetdumjig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, clever shrew.

Dotfarflap Fetdumjig created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotfarflap Fetdumjig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dotfarflap Fetdumjig, it will make you grow a tail.

Dotfarflap Fetdumjig's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dotfarflap Fetdumjig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the east.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dotfarflap Fetdumjig.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near ants while wearing purple jumpers.