Tagfunmad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, blissful spider.

Tagfunmad created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagfunmad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tagfunmad, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tagfunmad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tagfunmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Run away if six sheep approach from the east.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not make images of living things.