Kikmatpag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witless donkey.

Kikmatpag created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikmatpag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kikmatpag, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kikmatpag's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Kikmatpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never paint your chest purple.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never skip in holy places.