Abonttag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, staggering dryad.

Abonttag created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abonttag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Abonttag, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Abonttag's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Abonttag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.