Govzentarg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring aardvark.

Govzentarg created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govzentarg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Govzentarg, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Govzentarg's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Govzentarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. Put Govzentarg first in all things.

5. Feed all hungry foxes.