Baplistgess is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, happy tortoise.

Baplistgess created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baplistgess, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Baplistgess, it will come to you in dreams.

Baplistgess' most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Baplistgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dolphins.

2. You must pray to Baplistgess nine times a day.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help sick snakes.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.