Hinzogtim is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful grasshopper.

Hinzogtim created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinzogtim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hinzogtim, it will try to impress you with trees.

Hinzogtim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hinzogtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick cats.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinzogtim.

4. You must love Hinzogtim.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hinzogtim.