Futtaflopdon is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, impressive zebra.

Futtaflopdon created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futtaflopdon, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Futtaflopdon, it will come to you in dreams.

Futtaflopdon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Futtaflopdon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Feed all hungry dolphins.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Run away if six cats approach from the south.