Rilcitbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing yak.

Rilcitbaf created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilcitbaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rilcitbaf, he will boil you in a big pot.

Rilcitbaf's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rilcitbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Rilcitbaf must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing mauve boots and balancing seven platinum spheres on your feet.