Tomcissyatt Yamragzig Nardamvan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise aardvark.

Tomcissyatt Yamragzig Nardamvan created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomcissyatt Yamragzig Nardamvan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tomcissyatt Yamragzig Nardamvan, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Tomcissyatt Yamragzig Nardamvan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tomcissyatt Yamragzig Nardamvan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Never laugh in the presence of capybaras.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.