Haddunjap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic squid.

Haddunjap created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Haddunjap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Haddunjap, it will throw large rocks at you.

Haddunjap's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Haddunjap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Haddunjap on top of important buildings.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Haddunjap in the centre of the settlement.