Fumvoglunpig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental seal.

Fumvoglunpig created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumvoglunpig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fumvoglunpig, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fumvoglunpig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Fumvoglunpig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fumvoglunpig.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Do not skip in public.