Xenqueegkin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful pigeon.

Xenqueegkin created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenqueegkin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xenqueegkin, she will turn you into a slug.

Xenqueegkin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Xenqueegkin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not speak about corn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Moths are not to be trusted.

5. Never look at galaxies.