Bopparkrag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, clever turtle.

Bopparkrag created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bopparkrag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bopparkrag, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bopparkrag's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bopparkrag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. You must never eat wheat.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.