Gesscabdan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, benevolent crab.

Gesscabdan created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gesscabdan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gesscabdan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gesscabdan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gesscabdan's Holy Commandments

1. Gesscabdan loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

2. Always treat shrews with great respect.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.