Fatrullzod is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair porpoise.

Fatrullzod created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatrullzod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fatrullzod, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fatrullzod's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fatrullzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Retreat if four turtles approach from the south.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fatrullzod.