Sterladmif is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, flying squid.

Sterladmif created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterladmif, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sterladmif, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sterladmif's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Sterladmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near aardvarks while wearing gray scarves.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help cats.