Gebcissged Stersanyik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, self-confident goat.

Gebcissged Stersanyik created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebcissged Stersanyik, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gebcissged Stersanyik, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gebcissged Stersanyik's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gebcissged Stersanyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always help sick manatees.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gebcissged Stersanyik on top of all buildings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.