Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, kind yak.

Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Metjindog Hongedmet Poparpstan on top of important buildings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think ill of sick ducks.