Yattnurttal Popdapmis is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical lobster.

Yattnurttal Popdapmis created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Yattnurttal Popdapmis, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yattnurttal Popdapmis, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yattnurttal Popdapmis' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yattnurttal Popdapmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink alcohol.