Bitsanomin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, sage cow.

Bitsanomin created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitsanomin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bitsanomin, he will remove you from existence.

Bitsanomin's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bitsanomin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Never laugh near badgers.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Erect five zinc sculptures of Bitsanomin on top of important buildings.