Buntomjan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless narwhal.

Buntomjan created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Buntomjan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Buntomjan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Buntomjan's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Buntomjan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Buntomjan eight times a day.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. You must love Buntomjan.

4. Run away from purple tapirs, for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your chest black.