Lakmotlik is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ruthless squid.

Lakmotlik created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakmotlik, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lakmotlik, she will turn you into a frog.

Lakmotlik's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lakmotlik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five horses approach from the west.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing pink ear rings.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Never chant in the presence of snakes.

5. Erect three silver sculptures of Lakmotlik on top of important buildings.