Metgonfum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud cat.

Metgonfum created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metgonfum, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Metgonfum, he will send you a sign.

Metgonfum's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Metgonfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve hats.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Hide from pink gulls for they are unholy.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Always look after injured badgers.