Hivxucmum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful troll.

Hivxucmum created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivxucmum, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hivxucmum, it will turn you into a hamster.

Hivxucmum's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hivxucmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near capybaras.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Never talk about dark matter near badgers while wearing magenta skirts.