Jatmanquim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, dishonest chinchilla.

Jatmanquim created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatmanquim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jatmanquim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jatmanquim's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Jatmanquim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jatmanquim.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never hop near frogs.