Pitflaptun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty dragonfly.

Pitflaptun created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitflaptun, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pitflaptun, she will destroy your home planet.

Pitflaptun's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Pitflaptun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine ants approach from the north.

2. Never leap in the presence of porpoises.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never think about optics near nematodes while wearing purple trousers and balancing eight tin spheres on your arms.

5. Always help eagles in need.