Flamcam is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, annoying elephant.

Flamcam created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Flamcam, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flamcam, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Flamcam's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Flamcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Flamcam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamcam.

5. Retreat if six pigs approach from the west.