Flabcudlapsag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate owl.

Flabcudlapsag created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcudlapsag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flabcudlapsag, it will send minions to preach to you.

Flabcudlapsag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Flabcudlapsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Flabcudlapsag loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always wear mauve.